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Tacky Touring Tips

My first experience with Richmond's Tacky Light Tour came before the tour was even officially a tour.

It would have been the early 80s and, as native Richmonders know, the tour back then involved finding houses from memory, word of mouth or just a drive-by sighting on the way home from work. Our route always started on Providence Road and we found our way through Chesterfield County from there.

More than two decades later, the tour, and its organization, has come a long way. So much so that our little tacky Christmas light display is said to be the biggest, baddest and best, not to mention the first of its kind, in the world. (At least according to Wikipedia, which is good enough for me.)

Yes, the Tacky Light Tour is a local holiday staple and as you inevitably head out to take it in again this year, we at Richmond.com have a few tips to help you make the most of your tacky light tour experience.

Plan, plan, plan

These days it's not enough just to drive around and hope that you spot a tacky tour-worthy house. There are far too many out there now. But thanks to sites like tackylighttour.com , Richmondwiki.org and inRich.com you can plan your tour, map the route and be on your way, all with just a few clicks of the mouse.

Follow the limo

OK, there's an exception to the planning tip. With more than a dozen local bus charters and limousine companies specializing in custom Tacky Light Tours, finding a tour route could be as simple as spotting a fleet of Winn buses and stretch limos navigating the narrow back roads of suburban Richmond. Pick one and follow along, a tacky light display will certainly be around the corner.

Keep in mind though, that tour-goers who rent their own transportation tend to be a rowdy bunch. They may gather in front of festive houses, chain smoking cigarettes, sloshing cocktails and screaming out inappropriate lyrics to holiday songs as they enjoy the display. And they may be reprimanded by families innocently trying to enjoy the same display. Or so I've heard. So following these tours may not be the best idea for families with small children.

Keep it moving

In my years of tacky light touring I've noticed that there are three types of tour goers. The first type is a polite, easy-going sort who likes to take their time enjoying the display. This person parks their car a reasonable distance from the house and gets out to see the lights in person. The second type is an on-the-goer. They drive by, slowly, at about 3 miles per hour, taking in the gist at all angles as they make a sweep of the street. The third type is selfish and self centered and doesn't care about others. This tour-goer wants the best of both worlds: the full experience that the car parker gets with the convenience of the sweeper. This type inches along with the sweeper traffic and then comes to a dead stop in front of the tacky light house where they sit, parked, for up to five minutes, snapping photos and forcing babies' faces against the window. This is inappropriate tacky light touring behavior.

Don't forget the Southside

For reasons likely related to Richmonders inherent fear of crossing the James, formal tacky light tours usually involve the West End, with maybe a house or two in the city proper thrown in the mix. According to the aforementioned tacky light sites, though, there are actually more displays in Chesterfield than in any other part of the city. The fact that Richmonders wouldn't immediately connect the Southside with something tacky is a mystery, but still, it's worth checking out.

Don't call it tacky

Just a note to out-of-towners or newcomers -- the Tacky Light Tour is the unofficial name for the unofficial tour of residential homes adorned with thousands of Christmas lights. Tacky, however, is not an appropriate adjective that can be used to sincerely describe the display. We Richmonders are proud of our tacky Christmas lights, prouder than we ought to be. To call it tacky and mean it … well, those are fightin' words in these parts.

Stay off the lawn

In the spirit of the holidays and in the excitement of seeing 8 million flashing Christmas lights blinking in synchrony with "Frosty the Snowman," we tour-goers tend to forget that only one house on the street has signed up for the Tacky Light Tour. Every other house on the block in an innocent bystander who has to put up with weeks of traffic jams, rowdy crowds, over-the-top festive cheer and, oh yeah, 10 million watts of lights pouring through their windows. The least we can do is not trash their grass in our trek to take in the glory.

Enjoy the show

There are few things for which our city is well-known. The Civil War … um, being the capital of the Confederacy … and, um, monuments to Civil War soldiers. And, of course, our fantastic tacky light displays. There really isn't anything else quite like it anywhere else in the world. We Richmonders are lucky -- we seem to do tacky pretty well. So get out there and enjoy the show.

Got a tip for taking in the Tacky Light Tour or just a favorite light display or memory? Leave it in the comments section below.