The Richmond.com Top Five
Stephanie Brummell, staff writer
Richmond.com co-editor, Karri Peifer
Enough said.
Use them. Use them. Uuuuuuuse themmmmm. How am I supposed to know that I shouldn't honk, scream and curse at you for just sitting at a light if you don't SHOW me you're turning either right or left? There is a biker I find myself behind every day I come to work. And bless her little heart (AND with shoes in hand) she holds out her arm to signal she's turning left. Why can't you make it happen with one simple flip of the finger? Because you're ignorant of everyone else around you; that's why. Use them, or you will see the wrath.
I thought I would reiterate. USE THEM.
Little White "Walking Man" means WALK. Big Red Hand means DON'T BE AN IDIOT. Top 5 worst things about Richmond drivers: we don't hit you when you choose to jump out in traffic, or throw your children in first, when the Big Red Hand tells you not to.
Jersey drivers who are now official Richmond residents
Yep. I said it again.
Karri Peifer, co-editor
They drive too slow
They come to a dead-stop
At intersections, merging lanes or in the middle of the street when there is no posted traffic signal that indicates one should do so.
They drive while they're 20-something
And insist on texting the entire time.
Bad turning
Like making a left-hand turn from the right lane. This seems to happen a lot.
They drive near Richmond.com's offices
Because apparently we're obsessed with bad drivers, how else can we explain it?
Dionne Waugh, news writer
Parallel parking = alien
When I slow down, throw on my turn signal and you see white reverse lights, that does not mean speed up and ride my bumper.
Monuments
Just think of them as really big medians. Seriously, people, they're not that unusual.
Red lights
You'd think that most people would understand that green means go and red means stop. Not here. Apparently, Richmond drivers believe that red means speed the f*!# up.
Left lane = faster drivers
I didn't say fast, I said faster. If someone is riding your bumper, check what lane you're in. Then promptly move.
Boom
Why do so many Richmonders feel the need to share their "music" with everyone around them? I'm glad you like some stupid song called lollipop, but I don't so turn it down while we're sharing the same public space. Thanks.
Kent Jennings Brockwell, co-editor
They work at Richmond.com
I am deathly afraid of riding with more than half of my co-workers. I wouldn't even feel comfortable riding a Ferris wheel with them. DMV should do a SWAT-style raid at our office. Target: car keys, licenses and fuzzy dice.
They aren't me
Not to brag but I have been a legal driver for almost 14 years and I still have a perfect driving record. I drive the speed limit, I always use turn signals and I give myself plenty of braking room. But that's only moving violations. If you want, I could draw you a perfect failed inspection sticker from memory. Don't even get me started on expired plates.
They don't carry duct tape when they've been drinking
Seriously, if you have been drinking to the point of drunk-dialing the second cousins of ex-girlfriends "just to chat" yet you still insist on driving home, at least do it responsibly. I'm not saying who, and I don't condone it *wink*, but one of my family members who has never called a taxi in his life let me in on a little trick to make it home safely. Well, not as dangerous as normal at least. Once while driving from the Fan to the Southside, hammered, bad got worse and he suddenly began to see double. The consummate Plugger, he pulled over to the side of Powhite, found a roll of duct tape, tore off a sizable piece and stuck it over one eye (and eyebrow, eyelashes, hair and beard). Problem solved. Except that missing brow. And the shame of owning that story.
They apparently can't afford a Bluetooth
But they can afford a used Lexus and $5,000 worth of rims. Put the phone down or your window up. My voice can get much louder than your stereo and you really don't want a running transcript of what I have yelled out my window.
They stop in traffic to scold bad parallel parkers using a cell phone
Once, I stopped so long to berate one inconsiderate driver who was having issues with her parallel parking due to a lengthy phone conversation, apparently about her favorite all-you-can-eat carbohydrates buffet, I had at least five cars backed up behind me. I produced such a loud, violent stream of consciousness verbal rage, I think Richard Pryor rolled over in his grave to say a silent prayer. Luckily, I was blocking her Lexus in and her window was down. Apparently, so were the windows of the five other cars. I didn't get so much as a honk or a "Move it!" They didn't even try to go around me.
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