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Week of Fortune

 

Libra -- September 23 to October 22 Come clean to your spouse about why it's been taking you longer and longer to come home from work everyday. It may help you in other places.

   

Scorpio -- October 23 to November 21 Go camping this weekend and find a secluded spot. Bring your rifle and your dog and sure enough you will find an oil deposit to fuel that new Hummer you've been dreaming about.

 

Sagittarius -- November 22 to December 21 Start tipping better because the wait staff at your favorite restaurants have noticed how lousy your tips have been. If you're short on money, at least offer to clean the dishes you used.

 

Capricorn -- December 22 to January 19 Converting to a religion is a huge commitment, which is exactly why you need to join your friend's cult. It is not really a cult, but a quick money making scheme that is legally sound.

 

Aquarius -- January 20 to February 18 If you haven't fulfilled those New Year's resolutions yet, now is the time because everybody is watching you.

 

Pisces -- February 19 to March 2 Go out and make some new friends. Staying inside playing online video games with other people is no longer an acceptable form of socializing.

 

Aries -- March 21 to April 19 One of your close friends is going out of town soon and has nobody to take care of his/her pets. Casually bring it up in a conversation and hope they invite you to do it. I know you have been dying to watch football games in high definition for a long time now.

 

Taurus -- April 20 to May 20

Remember that house project you always claim to say you're "working on" but never actually do? There is no need to now because your neighbors have nominated you for a new television series to help restore your house to its former glory.

 

Gemini -- May 21 to June 21 Since your boss doesn't know what you actually do at your job, perhaps now is the time to ask for a raise. Explain that you're a hard worker and have been with the company several years and deserve better pay. Why not ask for better benefits as well?

 

Cancer -- June 22 to July 22 If you haven't been lucky in the love department now is the time to give an online dating service a try, there isn't anything wrong with expanding your horizons.

 

Leo -- July 23 to August 22

Throw that party you have always been wanting to. If you do, it is sure to be a blast for you and your guests.

Virgo -- August 23 to September 22

Create your own diet … it's bound to get you rich. Make it up as you go along, tell your friends about about it and soon enough it will catch on. Of course, the source of the information will lead back to you, causing a flood of press, endorsements and royalty checks to fill your currently empty pockets.