How to Date Like a New Yorker
I spent this past weekend in New York City for my birthday. From rooftop drinks in Manhattan to swing dancing the night away with a mysterious British gentleman, it was a surreal, fun-filled weekend and a great escape from the muggy Richmond heat. Besides the serious dent to my bank account and a couple of M.A.R.I’s (mysterious, alcohol-related injuries), this weekend helped to keep my mind off the impending quarter-century birthday looming just around the corner.
In preparation for our trip to the Big Apple, I packed my most cosmopolitan outfits and was sure to keep my Wayfarers on in the airport in hopes I’d be mistaken for a celebrity. Not surprisingly, I fooled no one, and my über-stylish-in-Richmond ensembles looked decidedly passé next to my city girls’ designer frocks. I realized I’m a just a little Richmond girl through and through, and I’ll probably never be the avant-garde, tough, blasé New York City girl I so longed to be, even for a weekend.
There is the common stereotype about these New Yorkers being some tough broads, as evidenced by the fashionistas, socialites, and Wall Street businesswomen crawling all over the city. There’s something downright sexy about their nonchalance and tout-en-noir ensembles. This Blair Waldorf-esque mentality got me thinking back to a book my roommates and I passed around in college, “Why Men Love Bitches.” Sherry Argov’s independent, sassy, savvy gals scream “New York City.” So, how do you date like a New Yorker in a city like Richmond?
I polled several of my single New York City gals for their thoughts on dating like a New Yorker. The landslide conclusion was date as many people as possible, and refuse to settle. The reasoning is fairly simple. Per capita, there seem to be more jerks and crazies compared to the rest of the country, and it’s easy to gloss over these red flags when you’re being swept around town to the hottest restaurants, clubs, and parties. My friend C. noted that, “Heartbreak is a lot easier when you have four guys on reserve. It’s important to date as many guys as you can fit into your schedule until you find one at the top of your rotation that’s worth it.”
This concept is not especially novel, as men seem to have cornered this particular market for quite some time. And, while multi-dating to avoid the psychos may sound exhilarating (and like a full-time job itself,) is it really possible to date like a New Yorker in a smaller city like Richmond? Especially for Lifers, it’s hard not to overlap romantic histories in a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon manner.
Multi-dating does have its perks, no matter what city you’re in. It gives you a chance to explore your city and try new things with new people. It also allows the opportunity to figure out exactly what you want in a partner. After all, you wouldn’t buy a car without taking several for test-drives, right?
Whether you’re from New York, Richmond, or Timbuktu, it’s hard to argue with the mantra “date many, and date often.”
Caroline is a 25-year-old single gal living in the Fan. She works in PR for a non-profit by day and moonlights as Richmond.com's female dating columnist by night. To learn more about Caroline visit http://www.carolinesplate.com, on Twitter @carolinesplate, or you can most likely find her out in the Fan on a Friday night.
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