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Health, fitness and continued bliss

photo by Don Long

I am not obsessed with my weight. I have been overweight, with varying degree, my entire life and am well aware that I purchase pants at Lane Bryant instead of The Limited.

I simply don't wake up every day and take the time to stress out about my size. The decision to accept who I am, flaws and all, has had positive and negative effects on my life.

Am I generally happy? Yes. Healthy? Not as much as I could be. Am I setting a good example for my young daughter? No, when matters of nutrition and fitness are concerned.

With this in mind I have agreed to a three-month weight loss challenge. But after talking with the program coordinator Julia Bardrof at Endorphin Fitness I realized that this is a lifestyle challenge, too. Or as the flyer says,"Health. Fitness. Life Change. Losing weight is just the cherry on top."

In return for participating in the weight loss challenge I have agreed to blog about my journey to plus-size catalog shopping, my experiences in the program and the life changes that I make over the next three months. The challenge begins tonight when I meet the other participants for introductions, a weigh-in and group photo.

Bardrof took my measurements last week when I met her at Endorphin Fitness' Patterson Avenue location in Richmond. And as I suspected I officially do not have a waist.

As much as I look forward to dropping a few pounds and again embracing a more physically active lifestyle, I'm scared of not being successful in the program. Or as I explained it to my boss recently, I would rather learn new software instead of tackling weight loss. My weight is truly the one thing in my life where I have not achieved my goals.

But my inability to maintain a healthy weight has led to a certain level of self acceptance with who I am; I have grown into a happy and successful 33-year-old woman who happens to avoid mini skirts and clingy knits. I'm not finding my bliss through physician or self-prescribed medications. On a daily basis, there's just something to be said for not hating yourself. (By success I mean employed. Employed is a good thing these days.)

But my "I am who I am" attitude has snowballed and allowed me to overlook the details that keep me in my Pretty Plus jeans. I've been so content not stressing out about my weight that I've climbed yet another dress size and am possibly letting my personal Zen mask a level of laziness that I didn't aspire to achieve.

I enjoy a nice meal with my family, as well as dessert. I like cream in my coffee. I like to snuggle on the couch with my husband and watch movies instead of walking on my treadmill in the other room.

I tend to work long hours and my job supplies an unlimited amount of stress, so I look for opportunities to take mental breaks which turn out to be physical breaks as well. I spent the money on a comfortable couch a few years back and make good use of it on a regular basis.

I used to ride my bike for an hour or so three or more days a week. I used to go for walks around Byrd Park and in general have more energy.

And while I have a good time chasing my 18-month-old daughter around the house and the playground, she's the only one getting a real workout when we play.

I recognize that change is needed and it begins tonight. Not sweeping change that I cannot maintain and will learn to hate, but concepts that I can work into my daily life.

I'm approaching the weight-loss challenge with realistic goals and expectations. I will declare myself a success if I make positive changes to my eating habits and find activities and exercises that work with my life. I do not have two hours a day to exercise, but I need to make good use of the 45 minutes that I have.

And like the flyer says, any weight loss that I achieve is "just the cherry on top."