Patrick Swayze: A Life in Hair
Roadhouse (1989): A gentle work that involves the delicate art of the bar room brawl.
Red Dawn (1984): A group of rag-tag teenagers (some with hair better than others) bond together to get revenge on Russians.
Point Break (1991): This movie is basically an avalanche of cool.
Save your candles and your silent vigil for someone else. All that Kumbaya crap doesn’t apply here.
Patrick Swayze was put on this planet for two reasons and two reasons only:
To have kick ass hair and to kick a lot of ass on the big screen.
His life is to be celebrated like a Viking. And, like any fallen Nordic warrior, if you’re gonna burn anything it should be a boat, not some dumb candle. But since funeral pyres are looked down upon in Richmond, why not pay tribute by going to Video Fan to check out his three most kick-ass movies ever?
To help with your selection, I have included a summation of the film, Swayze’s best line, and the hair style he rocked during that movie.
MOVIE: Roadhouse (1989): A gentle work that involves the delicate art of the bar room brawl. Swayze beats the crap out of a thousand rednecks while simultaneously making sweet love to Kelly Lynch. Be forewarned: you’ll need a tissue when Swayze’s best buddy, Sam Elliot dies. Swayze gets revenge with a stuffed bear and a tricked out Mercedes.
BEST LINE: “Pain don’t hurt.”
HAIR STYLE: Wings of Desire™: Think of only the good things in your life and then imagine them woven out of human hair. Yes, his hair looks that freakin’ good.
MOVIE: Red Dawn (1984): The Russians attack middle class America. A group of rag-tag teenagers (some with hair better than others) bond together to get revenge. They hide out in the mountains and murder piles of Russian soldiers. Swayze gets barbaric with a bow and arrow as well as a hunting rifle. Just watching this movie will make you glad to be American.
BEST LINE: “C'mon! We're all going to die. Die standing up!”
HAIR STYLE: Silky Kitten Baby’s Breath®: Swayze’s hair has the ferocity of a jungle cat with the subtle features of a happy childhood memory. The Russians are actually proud to have been killed by him.
MOVIE: Point Break (1991): Swayze is a surfer who looks like a blond god come to earth. He gets cooler when he is a blond surfer who robs banks. Then the coolness is overwhelming when he starts shooting guns and jumping out of perfectly good airplanes. This movie is basically an avalanche of cool. Perhaps you better break up your viewing so as not to go into some kind of shock?
BEST LINE: “If you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It's not tragic to die doing what you love.”
HAIRSTYLE: The Golden Angel©: Imagine Swayze’s hair, dipped in precious metals and reflecting a beautiful sunset on the happiest day of your life. Then you might be close.
Francis Decker is freelancer for Richmond.com. He also teaches English at a local Richmond high school, in addition to amassing an impressive Patrick Swayze movie collection.
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