We, the women of Richmond.com, have a confession to make. We have, on a few occasions, selected a Halloween costume based solely on its sexiness factor.
There. We said. We’ve been punk rockers, flappers, genies, kitty cats and sexy witches. And we’re not ashamed of it. Halloween is about dressing up and having fun and, for most women, that includes looking good.
In recent years though, we’ve noticed an alarming trend with Halloween costumes. Sexy costumes are no longer an option, they’re a requirement. And even the most benign, down-right masculine costume ideas have been tarted up to the point of obscenity.
Take, for example, a costume we recently saw for a female solider. If you’re thinking Army fatigues and combat boots, you’re wrong. The version we saw featured camouflage boy shorts, matching bra, stilettos and a smile. Costume available for ages 6 and up.
Even the already suggestive French maid costume has been stripped down to almost nothing (who needs a skirt and apron when a thong featuring a picture of an apron will do the trick?).
So this Halloween, we thought it was time that women got honest with themselves. Why pretend like you really wanted to be a Catholic schoolgirl and it just turned out that costume was revealing? Instead, pick something you’d never think would be sexy and make it so. We’ve got 10 ideas for you.
Top 10 Worst ‘Sexy’ Halloween Costumes
Sexy Blogger
Carry a strategically placed laptop at night. Hope your arm doesn’t cramp.
Naughty Grandma
Here’s the costume: Vick’s Vapor Rub … a lot of it. And maybe some thick, partially rolled down pantyhose to wear with your stilettos heels. You’ll have the best come back for a pick up line all night long. When someone says, "What’s that smell?" You can lean in and whisper, "Me, baby. That’s all me."
Sexy Janitor
Those stringy mops make great bra tops and a trash bag has a multitude of uses.
Baby
If you can’t work a bib and white underwear, you’re no kind of woman.
Sexy Panhandler
A sign, a smile and some heels. Enough said.
Justice Sotomayor
Who knew gavels could be so fun? Plus, it tells eligible men that you’re concerned about current events.
McDonalds Drive-thru Attendant
This is the perfect costume for those ladies who can’t let go of the Bluetooth for the night. You can disguise it with a headset! Add Ronald’s suspenders and some hot pants with the logo on the rear, and you’ve got a costume.
Sultry Julia Child
OK, the wig might not be great, but imagine the fun you could have with mixing bowls and/or an apron.
Sexy Eskimo
Who doesn’t need an excuse to buy a fur bikini?
Flying Squirrel
Wings, a body stocking and, just for fun, a dozen or some quotes from Twitter that basically say, "worst team name ever." Hey, it’s timely.
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