Imagine one of those overly pretentious Calvin Klein TV spots from the ‘80s – then add 137 minutes. Or picture what it would look like if ’90s alt band Live did an unedited, interpretive cover of “American Pie” – and filmed a music video on a $150 million budget.
These could be branches of the “Tree of Life” – twisting, obnoxious limbs primed to be pruned and served up as firewood. Sorry, maybe I’m not being clear, so here is what a snippet of script may look like from writer / Director Terrence Malick’s epically bizarre “meaning of life” odyssey.
“Pan over deep space black hole. Blast some opera music. Close up on the dinosaur head. Fade out. Queue the domestic abuse montage. And send in the glow-in-the-dark amoeba army…”
…and cut!
“The Tree of Life” explores everything from the unending cosmos to a jellyfish’s digestive tract to mom’s placenta to a disillusioned man’s psyche and the inner voice of a scruffy 10-year-old kid.
But for all its ambition and star power – including Brad Pitt and Sean Penn – “The Tree of Life” is self-indulgent gobbledygook. And we’re the unlucky voyeurs in this stop-motion, stream-of-conscious journey through life.
There is some plot. Pitt plays Mr. O’Brien, who sternly and abusively captains his upper-middle class family in 1950s Texas. Jack (Hunter McCracken), the eldest of three sons, bears the brunt of dad’s rage, which often erupts after mom (Jessica Chastain) serves up a hearty dinner. When the boys grow into their teens and 20s, there is a tragedy – a tragedy that a grown Jack (played by Penn) reflects on in some slightly skewed version of modern day earth. While elder Jack contemplates his tormented childhood, loss and the meaning of life, we’re voyeurs there to either nod approvingly or roll our eyes through the whole damn thing.
I wanted to like “The Tree of Life,” but I turned cynical after about 40 minutes, sometime after a glowing, whispering orb made its third appearance but before the dinosaur hunting scene (You read that correctly). Thankfully, it’s beautifully shot, and the random mish-mash of volcanoes and underwater vents would make a great nature doc on their own.
I admire “The Tree of Life” – in the same way I admire the white-haired lady in the “Guinness Book of World Records” with 28-foot fingernails. By the way, after “The Tree of Life,” you’ll probably have to cut your nails, just saying.
“The Tree of Life,” checking in at 138 minutes and rated PG-13, is now playing nationwide. Mike gives the movie 1 out of 4 stars.
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