World Cup Runneth Over

A few weeks ago, I was slummin’ it with a USA Today when I came upon an article about how England’s pubs were depending on a successful World Cup run by its home side in order to bring back business. Knowing the publication, there was likely a flashy info-graphic, too.

Apparently, too many Brits are passing up pub grub to microwave their own bangers and mash and slogging back bottled beers instead of freshly tapped Bass pints. Pubs are in a tight spot and no cute colloquialisms or magic billy club wagging is going to save them.

Fast-forward to last Saturday afternoon at 2 p.m.

My friends and I are watching the USA-England pre-game festivities at Fan watering hole, Home Team Grill, when two engines full of firefighters descended and conga-lined their way to the rear of the packed restaurant. Either a super-crispy chicken finger was blowing black smoke or we were about to exceed the restaurant’s maximum capacity. (Or, more than likely, both.) Either way, the frenzy lit a pre-game fire within the patrons, who chanted “U.S.A!” at the stunned and smiling axmen.

Forget the outcome of the soccer game. Heck, I think we were winning the battle of the bar scenes. And something tells me that on this Saturday afternoon, the River City’s bar owners weren’t experiencing any problems like their pint slingers across the pond. (At least I hadn’t seen an info-graphic confirming that.)

In fact, in 12 years of recreational drinking in Richmond, I had never seen such a sight. The mid-afternoon tilt pitting George Washington’s upstart boys against an empire that the sun once never set on had more than met the hype locally, and the annoying plastic vuvuzela trumpets hadn’t even begun blaring in Rustenburg’s Royal Bafokeng Stadium.

My soccer fan friends and I planned to hit up the belly of the beast for the Revolutionary War redux – downtown pub Penny Lane. But, sometime after 7 a.m., when the Korea Republic and Greece were kicking off World Cup day-two action, Facebook messages already indicated that Penny Lane was packed. Our second choice was Gus’, a soccerphile sports bar with hearty fare at the heart of Boulevard and Broad. We’d heard a rumor that the bar, formerly known as Out of Bounds, had just installed a projection HD screen.

When we walked in, it was immediately clear that we were too late.

Sam’s Army, a nickname for backers of American soccer, had already invaded en masse. Dozens and dozens of face painters surrounded the bar, with standing room at a premium. Grown men in red, white and blue capes swooped by squealing and there was even a guy with a fake Elvis wig, for some reason. We had certainly underestimated the zeal Richmonders had for our national squad, or at least for daytime drinking on a balmy Saturday. We would be lucky to be served by halftime.

So we zipped over toward VCU and slipped into Home Team Grill, only to be greeted by another full house of buzzed revelers. We found a crack toward the back of the bar, and that’s when the firefighters joined the fray.

We celebrated the U.S.-England 1-1 tie with Bud Light pints dressed up in limited edition bowling pin bottles (until the bar ran out), orange crush shooters and chicken wings. I would have eaten apple pie and made out with Betsy Ross’ wooden teeth, if those had been options. Before halftime, the dude next to me, in the Uncle Sam top hat, emptied his belly of red, white and blue shooters. And even though it was just 3:30 p.m., there was little shame in it.

The United States plays Slovenia Friday morning at 10 a.m. There will be many messages with faux coughs and wheezes left on the voicemails of Richmond’s HR managers. Cheers to that.

Check out “Broad & Boulevard” weekly for skewed views and news on the River City.